Prelude, would you read this?

hey, um this is a prelude to a story i was thinking of writing. Please tell me seriously if you would read the book if it began like this. This or tell me what i could do to improve it.








"Lie to me, die with me. How do i ask the impossible of you? WIth so little times, with death hanging around the corner. How do i ask you to tie yourself to me? How do i ask you to not leave me behind? How do i ask you to stay with me forever? How do i ask you to not forget,the memories which held me? Not asking may be my angel of mercy. Without asking i can not be denied. So i will leave you without so much as a whisper. My only hope being that after i vanish from your mind and heart, be happy. Stay happy, live happy. don't remember. Forget me like the ghost which never came to be."
Prelude, would you read this?
It sounds interesting. With some punctuation changes and some capitalizations of "i", it looks good.
Prelude, would you read this?
Sounds like a form of poetry. I would definitely read it, only to find out what it is about.
Reply:It does sound good. I think you should keep writing, this could be a great stroy.
Reply:i really like it!
Reply:ok i would defnitley be interested, ur first setnece captured my attention.....are u into poetry? it seems like some sort of poetry not that i mind...all u need is some editing and ur good to go:) u have some grammer/spelling errors and thats all i saw (WIth so little times, is this supposed to be with instead of wlth, and if it is then the sentence should be wih such little...)
Reply:I actually thought that was really good and I don't say that often. Of course, I was overlooking the punctuation and grammar errors but it was really nice.





It does sound like poetry. Has a nice rhythm to it and all. I would read it.